We Got Rid Of Hogwarts
by Windrises
Summary: Harry, Hermione, and Ron return to Hogwarts, after graduating college. Dumbledore assigns them to guard Hogwarts, while he and the others are away. However, an idea comes along, that puts Hogwarts in danger.


Note: Harry Potter was created by J. K. Rowling and is a film series owned by Warner Bros.

Four years had passed, since Harry Potter, Hermione Granger, Ronald Weasley, and their classmates graduated Hogwarts. During that time, the trio went to college. Hermione enjoyed learning and Ron enjoyed having wacky parties, but the college lacked the special type of magic of Hogwarts. Harry and Ron were roommates during college. Although Ron got Harry in trouble, a countless amount of times, Harry enjoyed spending more time with him. Hermione kept being assigned a different roommate, because it was a real struggle, to find someone who could tolerate Hermione's helpful advice and no-party attitude.

Shortly after the trio graduated college, Professor Albus Dumbledore sent them invitations, to come back to Hogwarts. His invitation wasn't very informative. It just stated the day and time, that he wanted them to come to Hogwarts. Ron thought Dumbledore just wanted to have a little reunion. However, Harry and Hermione knew Dumbledore better and they assumed he had a trick up his sleeves.

At the end of June, Harry, Hermione, and Ron entered Hogwarts. They hadn't been there, since their graduation party. They looked around the building, to see how much things had changed. Ron yawned and wasn't paying much attention. Harry and Hermione noticed that the school looked a lot cleaner and more organized. The bookshelves looked more fancy and eloquent, than ever before, which Hermione greatly appreciated. Harry noticed that a lot of silly paintings and other goofy items had been taken away. Hogwarts still looked magical and eccentric, in comparison to other schools, but it had become a lot more normal and serious, in recent years.

Hermione looked at her friends, while asking, "What room should we go to?"

Harry answered, "Whichever one has Dumbledore."

Ron replied, "He's probably in his office."

The three friends went into the Headmaster's office. There was a man sitting in the office, but it wasn't Professor Dumbledore. Instead, it was Rufus Scrimgeour! Rufus gave the trio a disapproving look, before calming down, and saying, "Greetings, youngsters."

Ron defensively replied, "For the record, we're no longer kids."

Rufus Scrimgeour responded, "For the record, I don't give a care. Also for the record, I've never cared."

Hermione folded her arms and asked, "Why are you sitting in Dumbledore's office?"

Rufus answered, "Because this is no longer Dumbledore's office."

Harry gritted his teeth and asked, "What do you mean?"

Ron looked at his friends, while saying, "Rufus probably killed Dumbledore and took his office." Ron got out his wand and was prepared to blast Rufus. Harry doubted Ron's theory, to a certain extent, even though Rufus seemed somewhat suspicious.

Rufus rolled his eyes and replied, "Mr. Weasley, you've aged, when it comes to years. However, when it comes to maturity and common sense, you're still a toddler. I'll admit I'm not the friendliest of people, but I'm not an evil wizard, who would destroy Dumbledore or anything like that. Your old Headmaster realized he needed to retire, so I took his job."

Hermione said, "If that's the case, how come Dumbledore had us come here?"

Rufus replied, "Dumbledore still lives here. That geezer gives me a real headache, by scheduling meetings, without my permission." Rufus fiddled with his pocket-watch and said, "In a few minutes, he will arrive."

Harry said, "Sir, may I ask something?" Rufus nodded. Harry asked, "What's happened to Hogwarts? It looks pretty mundane and plain, compared to how it used to look."

Ron replied, "Believe it or not, Harry's made an accurate point. Hogwarts is starting to look boring."

Rufus had an amused look on his face, while asking, "You're actually complaining about the changes? Frankly, I should of seen this coming. After all, you were the ones who made Hogwarts worse."

Hermione looked confused, while asking, "What do you mean?"

Rufus said, "Hogwarts was starting to become an undignified, shameful place, thanks to you bratty troublemakers. For seven or eight years, you three kept breaking the rules, causing trouble, and worst of all, Ron acted like the most obnoxious and slapstick-filled student this school has ever had."

Ron replied, "I know I broke a few dozen bookcases, but that's hardly something to frown upon."

Hermione deeply loved books, so she wasn't happy to hear about Ron ruining bookcases. She pointed her wand at him and asked, "You ruined bookcases? Everytime a bookcase gets broken, so does my heart."

Ron nervously replied, "I'm sorry I keep breaking your heart."

A few minutes later, Professor Dumbledore walked into the room. He greeted the trio and gave them a bunch of junk food and toys. Dumbledore faced the trio, while saying, "It's great to see you guys, but I didn't have you come here, just for a friendly chat. You see, I need your help."

Hermione asked, "What's going on?"

Dumbledore ran a couple of laps, while saying, "For two weeks, all of Hogwarts' teachers will have to leave the school, to go to an important meeting, that involves a bunch of wizard stuff. Since everybody will be gone, they'll be no teachers or other staff members, to guard Hogwarts. Mr. Scrimgeour and I rarely come to an agreement, but we both agree that Hogwarts can't be unguarded for two weeks. Rufus had several suggestions, when deciding who should guard Hogwarts. However, you three are the ones I trust the most."

Rufus responded, "Frankly, I believe Dumbledore has lost his marbles." He frowned at Dumbledore and asked, "Don't you remember, how much immaturity is radiating from these three?"

Dumbledore asked, "Don't you remember, that these wonderful students saved Hogwarts, from Voldemort?"

Rufus replied, "First off, you're not supposed to say his name. Second off, their heroic accomplishments are honorable and impressive, but they still lack the qualities, that a guard should have."

Dumbledore responded, "Well, they might not be the best choices, when it comes to guarding a fancy museum or other boring places, but when it comes to guarding the magical world of Hogwarts, they're perfect."

Rufus replied, "Like I've said before, your marbles are long-gone. However, your former students will be given a chance, since they did save this school."

Dumbledore looked at the trio and asked, "Are you up to the challenge?"

Hermione answered, "I sure am. I've missed Hogwarts and defending it sounds like nothing short of an honor."

Harry replied, "I'll help her."

Ron said, "I'll hang around Hogwarts and take all the snacks you guys have."

Suddenly, Luna Lovegood stepped into the room. Rufus snobbishly asked, "Why has she arrived?"

Dumbledore answered, "Quads are better than trios."

Hermione raised an eyebrow and asked, "What do you mean?"

Dumbledore explained, "Luna's going to help you guard."

Harry asked, "Why?"

Dumbledore answered, "It just seemed like a wise idea."

Rufus replied, "Frankly, your ideas are the opposite of wise." Ron high-fived Rufus.

Hermione looked at Ron and asked, "Why did you do that?"

Ron answered, "I love Rufus' voice. It reminds me of Bill Nighy's voice."

Rufus smiled and said, "I love Bill Nighy."

Harry asked, "Who's Bill Nighy?"

Luna answered, "He's the leader of the vampires. Kate Beckinsale used to obey his every command, until she teamed-up with a werewolf and showed him who's boss." Hermione rolled her eyes.

The next day, the teachers finished packing their staff and started leaving Hogwarts. Rufus looked at Harry, Hermione, Ron, and Luna, while saying, "Remember how important it is, to keep Hogwarts' dignity and eloquence. Don't ruin this school. Dumbledore believes in you, with all of his heart. I only have a moderate amount of trust in you, so don't let me down." He scowled, before stepping out.

Dumbledore looked at them and said, "Have a wonderful sight and don't lose sight of Hogwarts' true magic."

After the staff left, Harry started sleeping on a couch, Ron started eating tons of snacks, and Luna stared at the moon. Hermione had her friends come to the lobby. After they were all together, she said, "You guys need to start helping Hogwarts, rather than goofing around."

Ron replied, "We just need to guard the school. It's not like we have to clean it or anything."

Hermione responded, "That might be true, but I believe Hogwarts deserves to be polished and organized. We want to make Hogwarts look better, than it's ever looked."

Ron replied, "That sounds like a waste of time."

Hermione looked at her friends, while saying, "Frankly, I don't know what's come over you. Don't you remember our past, when we thought Hogwarts was the most magical place in the world? We loved this place and we wanted to discover all kinds of magic. We didn't want to slack around and do nothing of value."

Harry said, "You know what? Hermione's right, which is hardly surprising. I believe we should do something special."

Luna smiled, while saying, "We should decorate the hallways, with used batteries, old coupons, broken doors, ripped homework, melted socks, and ketchup."

Hermione replied, "Instead of that, we should start cleaning this place. After that, we'll organize the books. There's a nearby store, that sells cleaning supplies. I'm going to get the stuff we need. Don't cause any trouble, while I'm gone."

Harry responded, "We'll be responsible enough."

After Hermione left, Harry felt like he should do something useful. He told Ron and Luna how he felt. Luna said, "We should drinks drops of rain, while eating chips that expired in 1933."

Ron grinned and replied, "Eating expired chips is a fantastic idea and I know where to find them."

Harry responded, "Hold on there, you eccentric warlocks. I believe we should do something, that'll make Hermione proud of us. With all due respect, she's always the one who does the responsible thing, while we goof around. I think we should do something more meaningful."

Harry and Ron tried to think of something they could do, while an idea popped into Luna's head. She said, "We should find a way, to make sure Hogwarts remains safe."

Harry asked, "How are we supposed to do that?"

Suddenly, Ron came up with an idea. He looked at Luna and said, "Get your hang-glider ready."

Luna replied, "Very well then."

Harry looked confused, while asking, "What's going on?"

Ron replied, "We're going to go outside, so our plan can work."

Harry responded, "Ron, I'm still confused."

Ron replied, "In a few minutes, my plan will be revealed."

Harry, Ron, and Luna went outside. Luna tied her hang-glider to Hogwarts. Harry looked at Ron and said, "You better start explaining your plan."

Ron replied, "You see, the hang-glider will make sure that Hogwarts never gets blown away, in case the wind starts rising."

Harry said, "This plan is nonsense."

A few minutes later, Hermione returned. She looked around and saw her friends were standing around, while staring at Hogwarts' hang-glider. She looked confused, while asking, "Why has a hang-glider been attached, to the top of Hogwarts?"

Luna answered, "To make Hogwarts safer. This way, Hogwarts won't get blown away."

Hermione shook her head and said, "I'm afraid that's not the case. Thanks to that hang-glider, Hogwarts has a stronger chance of getting blown away."

Ron patted Hermione's shoulder, while replying, "Don't worry about that. The school's going to be much safer, thanks to my devious plans."

Hermione raised an eyebrow and asked, "Devious?"

Ron answered, "When it comes to picking the right words, I'm not the best."

Hermione replied, "Believe me, that's an obvious fact."

Ron responded, "Hey."

Luna started munching on some hay, while saying, "Hay's an underrated snack."

Ten minutes later, the wind was rising. In fact, Hogwarts was experiencing a windstorm. Ron's piles of snacks got blown away, along with Harry's glasses, Hermione's dictionaries, and Luna's edible briefcase.

Hermione quickly ran to Harry's glasses and handed them to Harry. She said, "This windstorm's a real problem."

Harry looked around and saw that the hang-glider was starting to blow away. Since Hogwarts was attached to the hang-glider, the school was also getting blown away. The four friends looked up and saw their school floating in the sky. After a few minutes of getting blown away, the hang-glider crashed into a pile of rocks, which were next to a river. Hogwarts also crashed into the pile of rocks. The school got smashed by the rocks, before drowning in the river. All of Hogwarts' books and wands also drowned.

Hermione looked at her friends and said, "Thanks to your questionable hang-glider plan, we got Hogwarts destroyed."

Ron replied, "This situation is a bloody mess."

Luna responded, "Actually, nobody's bleeding, so it's all good."

Harry looked ashamed of himself, while saying, "Dumbledore's probably going to be ashamed of me."

Hermione replied, "I feel guilty, for ruining Hogwarts' future."

Ron said, "We can make things right."

Hermione asked, "How are we supposed to do that?"

Harry paused, before saying, "Well, Dumbledore didn't want us to lose sight of our magic. I have an important question: What's more magical than Hogwarts?"

Luna answered, "Good dancing." Luna's friends stared at her, while she started dancing around the place, where Hogwarts used to be. She skipped and twirled around, while smiling.

Ron said, "She's got a magical smile, so that's a good start." Ron danced by Luna.

Hermione looked at Harry, while saying, "Apparently, our friends think goofy dancing is more magical than the best school in the world."

Harry replied, "Hogwarts used to be the world's most magical school. Rufus is a well-meaning guy and he's got a great voice, but he made Hogwarts lose sight of magic, by making things so ordinary and generic. It's time we change that."

Hermione asked, "Do you think dancing will make a difference?"

Harry answered, "Indeed I do." Harry started dancing with Luna and Ron.

Hermione looked at her friends. She saw how much happiness and lighthearted fun they were having, thanks to their goofy dancing. Hermione had been baffled, by her friends' strange behavior, but she was starting to realize that magic comes from the world's most eccentric things. Because of that, she started dancing with her friends. The four friends turned on a few radios and started rapping.

A few weeks later, Dumbledore and Rufus returned, along with the rest of Hogwarts' staff. They saw that Hogwarts was gone. They also saw Harry, Hermione, Ron, and Luna, who were dancing, while dressed as rappers. Rufus looked stressed-out, while nervously saying, "Hogwarts is gone."

Hermione replied, "If I may be so bold, I don't think Hogwarts is truly gone. You see, my friends reminded me that Hogwarts' true magic didn't come from being polished, organized, or understandable. Hogwarts was magical, because it was the most interesting, unique, and weird school, that the world has ever laid eyes on. Although the school got destroyed, the magic will always be here."

Dumbledore responded, "I agree with that." He shook Hermione and her friends' hands, while saying, "Thank you, for bringing back Hogwarts' magic."

Rufus replied, "They destroyed the school. They didn't do anything right."

Dumbledore responded, "These young adults are more magical than you could ever imagine, Mr. Scrimgeour." Rufus rolled his eyes, while walking away.

Ron asked, "Who needs Hogwarts, when you have the world's most magical dance-arena?" Ron continued dancing around, while grabbing a microphone and singing a rap song. Dumbledore got on the ground and start flopping around. Harry and Luna convinced Hogwarts' teacher and staff, to dance along.

Hermione looked at them, while saying, "My friends may of gotten rid of Hogwarts, but they will never get rid of magic, because friendship is magic." Hermione danced with her friends, while feeling more magical, than ever before.


End file.
